How I Break All 10 Commandments, Daily

  1. You shall have no other gods before Me.
    I think this is a tricky commandment because it seems easy to follow, right? Duh, I’m not off worshipping another religion so I’m good? No. I put other “gods” above the Man Upstairs all the time! I binge watch Netflix instead of reading my bible. I enjoy wine much more than I should – and at times, it keeps me from focusing on my Christian morals. How often do I post on social media about God? Not nearly as often as frivolous, pointless things. Some days, it seems like I’ll put just about any “god” above Him.
  1. You shall not make idols.
    I interpret this as being a “Sunday Christian.” As making the mistake of confusing the constructs of religion with real worship. I think most of us involved in our churches find ourselves guilty of this at one point or another. We are all busy nowadays and it is hard to find time to get everything done in a day. Especially if you value sleep the way I do. If I go to service, and youth group, and family night, then I have fulfilled my duties for the week, right? All too often my devotionals pile up for days while I find “better things” to occupy my time.
  1. You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain.
    As much as I wish this is a habit I could break, I definitely say “Oh my God” or “Jesus Christ,” as means to describe my exasperation. Which is bad, but I think what is much worse is that I oftentimes put God second to who I want to be. I take his name in vain by declaring Christianity while acting impulsively.
  1. Remember the Sabbath Day, keep it Holy.
    If we are being honest, do any of us have time for an entire day of “Holy?” I don’t feel so much guilt over this since I do find some time for God most days, even if it is far too short. But I could spend much more time doing good things for the world, for my community, if I prioritized that over more sinful activities.
  1. Honor your Father and Mother.
    Since I was about 14 years old, I’ve had essentially no relationship with my mother. I am too old to blame her for that now but I do know that it is not the way God wants me to live. A couple weeks ago I felt called to reach out to her, and I did. We have only spoke twice since but, perhaps, I will be honoring my Mother soon enough. I struggle to honor my Father like I should. Not because I am ungrateful or unappreciative – there is just so much to thank him for. The words “I love you” are rarely spoken in my family… we all assume they already know.

How I break

  1. You shall not murder.
    You guessed it! I haven’t killed anyone at all today – or any other days! Really, I had to look up what a modern-day translation of this commandment would entail. In the Catholic faith, it seems to, oftentimes, be translated into defaming someone’s character. Aka, gossip. If I had a penny for every sly comment I’ve made about someone, albeit appearance, attitude, etc, I would definitely have a whole lot less student loan debt.
  1. You shall not commit adultery.
    Of all the commandments, this is by-and-large the one I break most often. I may not be married but I am certainly an adulteress. I flirt too often, I sexualize situations and people without reason. Certainly, on more than one occasion it has been said that I make things dirty. That’s because… it’s true. If I am being completely honest, this is a commandment I will break everyday for the rest of my life.
  1. You shall not steal.
    Briefly forgetting the habits of sticky-fingered-high-school-Janelle, my “stealing” today is a bit less intentional. I stop for Starbucks when there is perfectly good coffee at home. I buy a meal while ripe produce waits in my refrigerator. I buy yet another pair of shoes. Yes, these things are materialistic and, therefore, frowned upon. But they are not stealing… just the opposite, I am spending money. But I am spending money on things that are unnecessary, I am stealing from those in need.
  1. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
    I found a very interesting modern-day translation of this commandment referencing our online presence, “be the same person online as we are in real life, do not share sensational, almost-true-but-not-quite information.” Pope Benedict XVI, did you just call me out directly?!  Be honest, you do the same! We all do! We bear false witness in a hope of being “liked.” Seems silly now, doesn’t it?
  1. You shall not covet.
    Do I even have to write anything here? If you aren’t coveting in 2015 than you must be Jesus Christ himself. That green-eyed monster is all too common in all of us, isn’t it? Let us not forget how utterly unimportant the newest iPhone is.

Let’s Pray:

Allow me to continue to see the errors in my ways. Allow me to seek your purity and steer me away from sin. Help me keep your commandments. Help me seek your wisdom and share it with others. I pray that these words touch someone today, Heavenly Father I pray that my honesty keep my heart open to you. Let me love you more each and every day.

Living in Sin

If you actively read my blog then the last thing you probably picture me doing is praying everyday. Certainly, there is a stereotype that someone who can comfortably write about sex on the internet would not read the bible. Janelle, that Janelle, no way she likes going to church.

Well… you would be right. I don’t just pray everyday, I pray several times throughout the day. And I don’t read the bible, I listen to it as an audiobook – daily. And I don’t like going to church, I love being involved in my church.

 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we    were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8

My parents both came from Catholic families and both my brother and I were baptized and raised in the Catholic Church. That being said, once my parents got divorced when I was five years old my mother pretty much stopped taking us altogether. I grew up seeing God as the man who bored me for an hour and half and then gave me a donut afterwards…

Okay that was a little extreme… but seriously, faith was not much of a topic in my household.

Still, when I was in high school I started attending a youth group at a totally different church and that is where I found my faith. That youth group is still a pillar in my hometown and in my life. (hey guys!)

“For by grace you have been     saved through 
faith. And this is not your own doing; it is 
the gift of God.” Ephesians 2:8

In my adult life, I have absolutely struggled with the fact that I don’t fit in society’s white, middle-class, Christian female mold. I sin every single day and I will continue to do so for the rest of my life. That being said, I have been closer to God in the last few months than I have been ever before. How? I accept myself for who I am and I know that God created me this way.

That clarity did not come quickly or easily. It came with age, maturity, and the blessings of wonderful people in my life. It came when I reached a point where my own happiness and self-acceptance trumped a need to be well-liked. It came when the image of what I expected my life to be burst into flames and forced me to paint a new one. Being honest with yourself is important – being honest with God is crutual. 

“Come now, let us settle the matter. Though 
your sins are like scarlet, they shall be white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.” Isaiah 1:18

I enjoy my sins and I will never be perfect. To quote Derek Shepard “I am a flawed.” But I love God and I am beyond grateful for Jesus Christ. With that love in my back pocket I will be just fine.

Until next time,

P.S. This week my Youth Pastor mentioned that my blog needed some Jesus… it was coming, I swear!